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I didn’t know why the girl wanted me to wait, but I couldn’t do it anymore. I just couldn’t handle living any longer. It was February vacation and a winter storm was howling outside. The blizzard had been going for almost three days and power had quickly been lost. The house was dark, the only light coming from the eerie gray aura passing through the windows. My family had gone to a friend’s house to enjoy their electricity and running water, while I had chosen to stay home. I wanted to be alone for this. I sat at my desk in my room with a glass of water and a pile of pills next to me. They were sleeping pills, painkillers, and everything else I had. I was slowly writing a suicide note, trying to use my best penmanship. I included the instructions for my funeral and how I wanted to be buried. I finally put down the pen. My hands were almost always trembling, but now they were finally steady. ‘Goodbye pain,’ I said before I took a handful of pills and swallowed them, followed by the. Rebecca seemed out of sorts, and I wondered if she was in pain, but when I inquired she blew it off. Colleen gave me a look I couldn't interpret. I decided to ask her about it in private.Dinner was catered and Jack announced that our household staff would start on the coming Monday morning. He seemed pleased with the background examinations, and anxious to have live in staff instead of people coming in from outside on a variety of schedules.Millie and I spent a couple of hours playing with the babies. James was growing like a newborn should, and Millicent Jane was so precious I couldn't bring myself to put her down for the night. Rebecca finally sent Colleen to tell Millie and me to knock it off and get them to bed.Winnie slept on the far side of the bed. She quietly told Colleen her period arrived and she was feeling a little under the weather. Colleen wanted to cuddle, and Rebecca didn't have much to say about anything. Something was amiss with her, but she wasn't ready to discuss.
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